if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
