I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
