Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
