I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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