At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You pole danced in your parka.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize