is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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