Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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