soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
