Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
