I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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