If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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