When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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