96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
