You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
