thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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