im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
ttyl tear gas
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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