The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
