i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
no, he came in my armpit
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
