I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
