sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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