Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
