Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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