Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
