Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
