Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my phone needs a breathalizer
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
