Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
