ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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