it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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