Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
