hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
