For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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