Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
