Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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