Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
