so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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