Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
