Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
