She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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