You're my little dorito
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just pee around me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
