dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
