Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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