If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I want her autograph on my taint
Boobs speak an international language.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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