what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
