Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
