I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
