This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
