Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
