I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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