We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
