i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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