i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he was CRYING into my vagina
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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