And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
